The Cold Unworthy
by Erfaciel
Summary: A short, introspective piece. You have to guess who it's about. (Ok, I'll give you a hint. It's about one of the pilots)


Notes from the author: Konnichiwa minna-san. This is my first published GW fic, so don't be too harsh. (constructive criticism, however, is always welcomed.) This is a one-shot, VERY short introspective vignette. * sweatdrops * It made me write it!  
  
Anyway.. ^_~ I left the character that this little piece is all about a secret, so you have to guess! If I get enough correct answers then I'll write a companion piece to this! Even if you don't know who it is, you can review! (oh, did that sound like a request? * haha * silly me, that was a command! DO IT SLAVE! * gets smacked by Calli *)  
  
Oh yeah, speaking of Calli..I know that you like the pansy better, but I thought you'd enjoy this anyway! ^_^ Now all I have to do is write that 15 chapter fic, huh?  
  
Disclaimer: Omae wo korosu. * points gattling gun at owners of Gundam Wing *  
  
The Cold Unworthy  
  
Crisp air bit at his uncovered skin as he watched clouds drift lazily across the icy blue above. He did not notice the chill, however, just as he did not notice the scrape of grass beneath his legs or the falling of leaves all around him. Hard ground was just something that kept him form falling...  
  
Like he did whenever he looked into her eyes. Those smiling eyes that did not judge or condemn, just loved and understood and pleaded. Or when he reached for her hand, that small plae thing that was the truth ant the lies behind the façade that she showed to the world. Falling was something he wanted to do when it came to her, but he never let himself. How could he? Despite all that was what he needed in her, despite the obivous love that she cherished for him, he could never let himself fall for that innocent soul. He could never let the blood drenched devil inside his own heart tarnish the brilliance of the pure angel within her heart with it's dirty hands.  
  
He brought his hands into view, their dull skin contrasting with the stark autumn sky. How could all of that blood hide in two such small things? He had killed so many others that often his dreams and nightmares had been filled with images of the hands he held before him dripping with the unavenged liveforce of his victims. He knew that his hands rarely touched the flesh of the people killed by him, but he could not help imagining the stains that the screams of his unseen foes would cause. Black stains that consumed, ate at his soul until there was nothing left but absolute zero. Flowers withering in his hands, life fading away as he watched. Even so, none of that had bothered him. At least, none of that had bothered the killing machine that existed before her peaceful smile had melted the ice of years. Before the mechanisms that had kept him more like his Gundam than his race had fallen away into nothing under her caring hands. So, with the simple act of loving him his whole life had decayed and been stripped away, leaving something so human that it scared him.  
  
So human and yet so machine. His perfect shell had remained in part, and it held him back from the edge. However, changed he seemed that one fragment of frozen humanity would whisper that it was not enough, that it never would be. It hissed of the destruction he had left behind. Images that he would rather forget came to mind at its bidding, and he was bitterly reminded of just how unworthy he was, and of just why that edge would have to remain as the line he would never cross.  
  
A familiar voice called his name. Turning his head into the verdant growth below him he could just make out her sun-streaked hair flowing like a ribbon behind her as she ran, making her look like a child rather than an ambassador. She really is beautiful. The thought touched off a small smile as he shook off her efforts to keep him from leaving. She did not see it. He had turned away, hiding the smile and the raging despair behind his dark eyes as he missed the small tear escaping her lighter ones.  
  
* mwahahaha* Not bad, ne? ^_^ Just kidding, don't worry. I know it was terrible. But hey, what you gonna do when one of these is chewing on you? *points to rabid plot bunny currently knawing on her leg * 


End file.
